| 11. | Invited entire tech-support department to play golf. Brought Melissa to complete the foursome. |
| 10. | Steve Jobs started work today. The silverware looks great, but he doesn't do windows -- yet. |
| 9. | The baby cries constantly. Maybe I'll buy Fisher-Price. |
| 8. | Bought my first Macintosh. It's sooooo cute! |
| 7. | Good day. Found over 15 bucks' worth of soda cans in the trash bins outside Microsoft headquarters. |
| 6. | Bad day. Ellison sent back the heads of two of the three hitmen I hired, along with a note saying he ate the third one whole. |
| 5. | Still ahead of Murdoch and Eisner. Yes! |
| 4. | Reminder: 35-cent Snapple coupon expires in two days! |
| 3. | Memo to self: Next time, when my wife says we need to buy china, she means dishes. |
| 2. | Ran into Demi and Bruce. Upped my offer to a billion dollars. |
| 1. | Seventh day: rested. |