Ten Reasons Why Computers Must Be Male:

10 They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
9 A better model is always just around the corner.
8 They look nice and shiny until you get them home.
7 It's always necessary to have a back-up.
6 They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5 The best part of each is the games you can play.
4 In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3 Sometimes all the lights are on, but nobody's home.
2 Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1 Size does matter.

     Ten Reasons Why Computers Must Be Female:

10 Picky, picky, picky
9 They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8 They try to ignore your comments.
7 When you want to know what's wrong, they dump on you.
6 They can produce incorrect results with little or no warning,
  and at alarming speeds.
5 They always turn simple statements into big productions.
4 Small talk is important.
3 You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2 They make you take the garbage out.
1 Miss a period, and they go wild.