"Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window."
"Usenet isn't a right. It's a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw."
-Computer Museum (Boston)
"Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature."
-Rich Kulawiec
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."
-Porterfield
"The Macintosh computer was designed for fools, by fools." -David Borenstein
"We're thinking about upgrading from SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5."
-Henry Spencer
"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."
-Jeff Pesis
"I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your pleased too no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew."
-Janet Minor
"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec."
-Marcus Dolengo
"If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?"
"If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes."
"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
-Blair Houghton
"Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
-Michael Sinz