How to Repair Packet Equipment

[Will also work for other types of electronics.]
  1. Approach the ailing packet unit in a confident manner. This will give the unit the mistaken idea that you know something. It will also impress anyone who happens to be looking, and if the unit should suddenly start working, you will be credited with its repair. If this step fails to work, proceed to step 2.
  2. Wave the manual at the unit. This will make it assume that you are at least familiar with the source of knowledge. Should this step fail to work, proceed to step 3.
  3. In a forcible manner, recite Ohms Law to the instrument (CAUTION: before taking this step refer to some reliable handbook to be sure of your knowledge of Ohms Law) This will prove to the unit, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you happen to know something. This is a drastic step and should be attempted only if the first two fail. If this step fails proceed to step 4.
  4. Jar the unit slightly. This may require anywhere from a three to six foot drop, preferrably on a concrete floor. However, you must be careful with this step because, while jarring is an approved method of repair, you must not mar the floor or get the unit out of tune. Again, this is a drastic step. If this fails, proceed to step 5.
  5. Brandish a large screwdriver in a menacing manner. This will frighten the unit and demonstrate your knowledge of the deadly &quotshort circuit" technique. Proceed to step 6.
  6. Add a tube.... even though the unit is solid state.... This will prove that you are familiar with the node's design. This will confuse the unit and thereby increase your advantage. If this doesn't work, proceed to the most drastic and dangerous step. It is seldom needed and is a final resort if all else fails!!
  7. THINK....!