| 10. | "99 Bottles of Beer" song gets stuck in an infinite loop. |
| 9. | At the stroke of midnight on 12/31/1999, Windows 99* turns back into DOS 1.0; the Pentium* V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left holding a beautiful glass mouse. |
| 8. | Internet Movie Database now lists "1901: A Space Odyssey". |
| 7. | Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only two digits. |
| 6. | Sales of Coca-Cola(tm) jump drastically after original cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again. |
| 5. | Software engineers point out that since computers think it's almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899" (which, frankly, doesn't seem like that much fun). |
| 4. | Microsoft(tm) declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the "Gatesian" Calendar. |
| 3. | Jesus shows up late for His Second Coming; blames it on COBOL programmers. |
| 2. | Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson mistakenly takes home some octogenarians. |
| 1. | Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe personnel shortage at McDonald's(tm) restaurants. |